I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
