i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
