i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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