Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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