i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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