You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
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im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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