Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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