Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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