shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
