just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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