Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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