I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize