The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
