dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
