worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
