Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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