can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
