even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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