biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
