do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
