Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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