What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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