you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
