I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
