Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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