So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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