I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
