garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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