was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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