3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is my gift to your gina
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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