the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
