i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
