Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
