For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need moral support for this bender
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
