You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
