Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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