if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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