We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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