real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just had sex bonerless
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
