I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
