Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
