some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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