can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
