ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
