So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
