Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
