dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
