so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize