Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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