This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
