Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
