I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
