Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
drinking out of a sandbucket again
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
