I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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