She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
