i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
In other news, I just burned my penis
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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