One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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