marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
