So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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