Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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