So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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