So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
