Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
