i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
