Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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